Journey of Recovery - Frequently Asked Questions

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Frequently Asked Questions

Visit our new site for addiction recovery help at addiction2recovery.com.

Frequently asked questions are provided to give you a little more information about this project and the reasons it has been done. Information about the International Bible Society, the ministry behind the Journey of Recovery New Testament & DVD, is also addressed in this FAQ section.

What is recovery?

Can I recover from addiction on my own?

I thought that when I became a Christian my addiction/addictions would go away?

What should I do if my friend or loved one will not get help for their destructive behavior?

A close relationship with an addicted person has wounded me. Should I get help for myself?

Does the Bible address addiction?

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What is recovery?

Recovery is "the regaining of something lost or taken away" or "restoration to a better condition." Both of these definitions apply to people who struggle with an addiction or a compulsive behavior, or loving someone who struggles with these problems. These people have lost control of their lives, made a lot of very destructive decisions, and deeply hurt the ones they love. In most cases, years of destructive behavior and lies have compounded the initial problem with alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, food, or fixing others' problems. The shame that results from this kind of lifestyle doesn't disappear magically by wishing it away. Like refinishing a valuable piece of furniture, it takes an extended process of time, intention, hard work and resources.

Addiction and compulsive behavior go through a process in their development. In the same way, recovery goes through more-or-less distinct stages:

First, we become aware that our problem is more than we can bear. We have tried to hide the problem for years, but now we come face to face with depression, disease, divorce, or perhaps even death. And we reach out for help.
The second stage is to begin to trust a few people (a counselor, a support group, a pastor, or a mature friend) to share the depths of our pain and despair. Honesty is the door to actually beginning the process of hope and healing.
The third stage is full and rich. Here, we grieve our losses and gain new insights about life and God. Grief is a difficult road, but it's an essential part of recovery.
The fourth stage is normalizing the new insights and behaviors so that our lives become far more meaningful and productive than ever before. We develop relationships based on honesty and integrity instead of lies and manipulation, and we develop habits that produce physical, emotional, and spiritual health.

The process of recovery isn't for sissies. It takes courage and patience, but those who have taken these bold steps will tell you it's worth it!

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Can I recover from addiction on my own?

Someone once said that the recovery process isn¹t difficult to do on your own it¹s impossible. Many have tried to overcome their addictions by sheer will power alone and failed. God made us relational people. We need him, we need one another. The recovery movement provides effective and confidential support groups and sponsors so people who struggle with addictions can find people who understand, cheer them on and hold them accountable for taking the next step. King Solomon observed the simple but profound impact of people in our lives. He wrote ³Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm² (Proverbs 13:20) Addicted people desperately need to spend time with wise people who are a step or two farther along in their own recovery process. This is essential, non-negotiable and fundamental to the process of change. We¹ve resisted telling our secrets for a long time. We¹ve been afraid that those we tell will condemn us, hate us, laugh at us or worse, leave us. For too long, we¹ve chosen to hang around people who fan the flame of our addiction and make fun of those who are desperately trying to take steps toward honesty and healing. We need to find someone who genuinely understands, has been where we are now and empathizes with our pain.

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I thought that when I became a Christian my addiction/addictions would go away?

We sometimes hear of men and women who miraculously give up alcohol, drugs, gambling, pornography, or problems with food at the moment they trust Christ as their Savior. That's wonderful, but it's extremely rare. And even in these instances, these people still have to then deal with backlogged years of strained and ruined relationships caused by their deceptions, as well as health and financial problems.

When we become Christians, we instantly enter into a new relationship with God and all our sins are forgiven, but the process of growth has just begun. That process involves a lifetime of decisions to "put off" our sinful desires and make choices to "put on" mature, godly attitudes and actions. For those who become Christians as addicts or with compulsive behaviors, that path is a little steeper and a little rockier than it is for most people. If we think the difficult path is the result of God not being faithful, we'll give up, feel sorry for ourselves and quit. We need to realize that God walks the path with us. No matter how hard it is and no matter how long it is, we trust him to help us take the next step toward hope and healing.

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What should I do if my friend or loved one will not get help for their destructive behavior?

Far too often, we've convinced ourselves that the "loving" thing to do is to look the other way when a friend or family member is involved in destructive behaviors. And when we have the courage to speak up and ask for change, we are too quick to believe them when they say, "I'll never do it again." But love means that we do whatever is beneficial to the other person. For people destroying their lives and the lives of those around them, the most loving thing we can do is speak the truth and set clear consequences for their misbehavior.

But don't try to do this on your own. Standing up to an habitually deceitful person is incredibly difficult. Find a competent counselor, pastor, attorney or social worker to give you assistance, clarify the consequences, and help you follow through with the consequences you set.

Remember, passivity and looking the other way isn't love. Sometimes, love must be tough.

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A close relationship with an addicted person has wounded me. Should I get help for myself?

Absolutely! Studies show that every person with an addiction or compulsive behavior wounds at least two other people. And these people need help! They have believed lies and given in to manipulation time after time for years. Living with an addict drives us crazy!

Find a counselor, pastor, or trusted friend to share your hurts and hopes. Be honest, perhaps more honest than you've ever been in your life‹and be patient with yourself. Authorities in mental health say it takes two years to grieve a major wound. Caring for someone who struggles with an addiction or a compulsive behavior is a major wound, so give yourself time and give the wound the attention it needs. Learn to recognize lies and truth. Stop focusing your life on that person, and enjoy laughing again. Regain control of your own life so you can walk with God in integrity and strength. You aren't responsible for others' behavior, just your own.

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Does the Bible address addiction?

Yes and no. The Bible speaks powerfully and often of our fallen natures, our desire to fill our lives with things instead of God, and the ways we harm relationships by our lies and deceit. These are the essence of any addiction or compulsive behavior. In addition, the Bible talks about our need to grieve deep hurts and learn to make healthy decisions.

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